Tag Archives: tacky

Socks and Sandals

Socks with Sandals Changed My Life

One of the best decisions I have ever made in my life was showing up to school one day wearing socks with sandals.

Let me back up.

In high school, I made a lot of female friends who wore diverse styles.  I envied them.  Their fashion looked amazing while I was just a guy wearing jean shorts and a bright pink t-shirt that said “the Eager Beaver Restaurant, Eldon, MO” with a beaver wearing a chef’s hat on it.  Clearly, I needed to rethink my fashion statement.

Unfortunately, society has…a way of not encouraging men to embrace fashion as opposed to its open involvement towards women.  It’s hard to dress fabulously without be labeled derogatory terms, especially in high school.  Skirts are probably the best example of this for me as I liked their style but I was afraid of how I would be judged by the people I know if I started wearing them.

Clearly another route had to be taken to improve my fashion statement.

Socks are one of the best inventions in history, second only to the Gamecube Controller.  They warm and protect your feet and they just feel so good all around.  In the Harry Potter series, the sock is even symbolized for familial ties and freedom (for more about that see http://www.hp-lexicon.org/essays/socks.html).  Clearly, socks are just one of the goodiest of all clothing apparel.

My friends knew this and acquired a vast array of colorful socks that ranged from stripes to spots to plaid to intricate designs.  They paired them up with their skirts, shirts, bangles, necklaces, earrings, and so forth.  I wanted to do that but with my own style.

After several months, I had accumulated my own sock collection but I ran into a problem.  If the purpose of the colorful pair of socks were to flaunt them, then covering them up by tennis shoes would not be adequate.

Enter the sandal; once I made the connection between the two I couldn’t be stopped.  Socks could be displayed to their full potential.  Now, I can mix and match by shorts, socks, and shirts with each other to create colorful combinations.

Socks with Sandals

Through this combination I realized that socks and sandals (s&s) not only looked good but felt good as well.  It’s the perfect combination to wear when it’s about 60 degrees to around room temperature.  S&s seems to have the benefits of both shoes and sandals by keeping your feet warm while still leaving your toes room to breathe.

As such, my original excuse to wear s&s slowly disintegrated like salt in a vat of hot water as I wore more and more white socks with sandals.

True, my increased wearing of s&s stemmed partially from laziness but damnet, those six seconds I could have spent tying my shoelaces are six extra seconds I have doing nothing else!

Socks with Sandals

But I’m veering from my off topic here.

Why do people not dig s&s?

In all honesty, I don’t quite understand it myself.  It’s interesting that such a minor thing can set people off in unusual ways.  Not outright hate mind you but more repulsion than anything else.

It’s probably this mentality of shoes goes with socks and sandals go with bare feet and NONE THE TWO SHALL EVER MEET.

It boggles their mind!  Why is this guy wearing s&s?  Slowly, their minds become distorted.  Their eyes wobble within their very sockets.  Their palms become sweaty with fear and terror.  Their voice cracks as they try their best to hold back a scream.  What’s going on?  Why am I here?  They shift their hand through their greasy hair and pull a clump of it out.  Why?  Why is he wearing s&s?  Does he know nothing?  Has he ascended into some higher form of existence?  Their mouth is dry.  Oh god, help me, help me now.  I can’t see, I’m going blind.  A shrill voice is speaking softly in their ear.  They can now no longer hear.  They feel it, they feel it now.  That crushing sense of pain and death upon them.  Why?  Why is this happening?  They sink to their knees and weep.  Weep for forgiveness, weep for those who have judged them, weep for those they love.  Please, I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die.  Everything.  It’s growing dark.  It’s growing dark.  All sense of reality is fading, fading fast.  Please, I can no longer take it.  I can no longer take it.

Just end it.

All their senses come crashing back to them.  They’re awake!  Wide awake!  They jump to their feet and shout

“Hey, man!  Why you wearing s&s?  Who do you think you are??”

I look back at them with cold eyes and respond, “I’m the Unapologetic Nerd.”

Plaid Socks with Sandals