Yearly Archives: 2015

Fight Predictions For Battlebots Episode 3

Tonight’s Battlebots episode is a special one for me as this will be the first time I can predict who might win each battle.  Battlebots in seasons past has never showed the brackets for the upcoming episodes so you are usually informed who’s fighting who a minute before the match starts.

And now that we have seen (mostly) all the robots in action we can predict who might beat who!  So, using my historical Battlebots knowledge and my impression for each of the fighters, here are my predictions.

Stinger vs. Warhead-Stinger Wins by Judges Decision

Warhead fought Bite Force in the previous round and lost to it by judges decision.  Stinger actually won its battle against a full body spinner and came out almost unscathed.  Stinger will push Warhead around, probably get knocked around a bit by the spinning drum but will ultimately be the stronger, more sturdy contender.

Bronco vs. Plan X-Bronco wins by KO in about a minute and half

Bronco has a fast and strong flipping arm while Plan X is a one sided (aka can’t work on its back) robot.  The minibots might distract Bronco but it fought Witch Doctor in the last round and still won.  Plan X also got dismantled hard by Wrecks which makes me think it’s not a sturdy robot.  All Bronco has to do is come in behind and get the flip.  Might take a few tries but it will get it.

Warrior Clan vs. Ghost Raptor-Warrior Clan wins by KO in a minute

Ghost Raptor did not impress in the previous round (even not counting the entanglement).  Warrior Clan was able to flip Nightmare and it will do it again for Ghost Raptor.  The minibots will distract Ghost Raptor and Warrior Clan will slide on in and give it a nice good flip.  Easy KO.  And I might be wrong but I don’t think the spinning blade is low enough to hit Warrior Clan but we’ll see.

Icewave vs. Chomp-Icewave wins by Judges Decision

Icewave is certainly a sturdy robot has shown in its battle against Razorback but I’m willing to bet that Chomp will be able to tank the hits and keep on coming.  Truth be told, this battle I’m most unsure about who will win as I can easily imagine Chomp tanking Icewaves hits, grab onto it and take it for a ride.  I can also imagine Icewave’s blade incapacitated after one too many bad hits.  Regardless, I still lean towards Icewave as I can imagine it to do enough damage to win the Judges over.

Can’t wait for tonight!

Reaction to ABC Battlebots Episode 2

Hmm.

To be frank I was disappointed in this episode but probably not the reason you think.

In my last Battlebots article I gushed how in this new series, we get to spend more time looking at the builder’s personal lives and strategy thanks to the smaller amount of contestants.  The fights were for the full time and not given brief clips.  However, this episode I was disappointed as ABC decided to show four full battles and cram four more in by showing just clips, thereby keeping the Qualifying episodes to just two and not three episodes.

First off, I thought that was disrespectful to the builders and especially to the winning teams. I want to learn about who they are, their background, and their thought process behind building their robot.  Second, I want to see the full fight!  I want to see the full battles regardless if it was exciting or not.  Third, I feel like ABC is already revealing which robots are going to lose in the next round because of their minute coverage on these bots.  Why should I care about Chomp, Overdrive, or Stinger?  You have given me no reason why I should care about them.

Sorry, this bothers me a lot.

Okay, with that said, the fights!

Lockjaw vs. Overhaul

Oh boy!  What a fight to begin this episode!  I love, love, love, love Donald Hutson.  Creative, kind, and mellow, he’s probably the most humble out of all the veteran competitors.  Yeah, that last hit by him after the buzzer raised some eyebrows but I believe he was sincere in his apology.  And Lockjaw!  He’s like the son of Dissector but more agile and colorful!  I like it!  Though I am concerned how effective Lockjaw is, it doesn’t seem strong and it doesn’t have any weapons to bash his opponents with.  Maybe it will do better in the next round.  And Overhaul is not bad either, I respect those MIT kids.  They have that dorky, awkward look about them that a lot of builders have.  They did a good job as well.

Bronco vs. Witch Doctor

If the Screws keep KOing robots they might as well be rewarded with the Giant Nut am I right folks?  Screws aside, BRONCOOOOOO.  YES, I was a fan of Toro and T-minus in the original series so seeing their prodigy just flip some shit I was happy.  If Bronco is like his ancestors then he might upset some spinners!  Witch Doctor has a neat flamethrower and I guess a cool vertical spinner but it didn’t really do much to Bronco I thought.  Still a cool fight though.

Tombstone vs. Counter Revolution

If a vertical spinner fights a horizontal spinner, the horizontal spinner wins, that’s like a fact of life in Battlebots.  But this…jesus.  That was great!  Seeing those parts go flying was amazing and made me giddy.  And man, ABC was really laying it on thick how badass Ray Billings and his robot are.  Haha, gotta love the bowling ball destruction bit, though.

Complete Control vs. Ghost Raptor

Very controversial match, I daresay.  But let me just stop there and say, wow, the builders for Complete Control look like real douchbags with their shiny jackets, beards and smirks.  Damn, not saying they are mind you but they sure do dressed the part.  Entanglements aside this was a disappointing battle for both robots.  Neither of them should have advanced. Complete Control wasn’t doing what it did best and throw a robot around the match while Ghost Raptor’s blade broke, seriously?  You main weapon snapped off?  That’s sad.  I would have rather seen Overdrive and Chomp’s battle than this one.

Summarized battles.

Didn’t get a good look at all the battles or the robots but I like the looks of Stinger and Overdrive, I hope they do well in their next battle.  Radioactive was a joke though.  Seriously, its hammer looked like it was doing no damage and the only reason why it won was that the other robot was facing technical errors!  Unless, I’m missing something big, Radioactive is going to lose next round.

Wildcards

Overhaul made sense as it did a good job against Lockjaw.  Chomp I can’t honestly judge since we just got a clip of it but Warhead…really?  He barely did anything to Biteforce!  Same goes for Witch Doctor!  Granted, they weren’t bad or anything but they certainly didn’t deserve a wildcard.  I would have given it to either Nightmare or Wrecks.  Confused why Warhead got the wildcard, I did a little digging though and found a Reddit AMA for a builder on Team Mohawk who says “It’s a mix of whether a losing team is able to get their robot fixed in time, whether they want to be considered as a wild card, and what would make for the best match ups later on.”  Hm, seems a bit odd to me but I can totally understand the part about a robot functioning properly.  If an important part were to be severely damaged during the fight, you would probably throw in the towel because you couldn’t replace it.  You can read the original interview on reddit here.  http://www.reddit.com/r/battlebots/comments/3bgqcd/mohawk_robot_team_member_here_ama/

Who would win?

Everyone on reddit and elsewhere is crying Tombstone and I agree that he has a good chance.  I would actually love to see Icewave fight Tombstone, that would be awesome!  Icewave and Tombstone horizontal spinners would destroy the other before the match is over and I seriously think Icewave has the chance in beating him.

Who else could be Tombstone’s foil though?  If we look at the history of Battlebots we come across the many-time Middleweight champion Hazard, a horizontal spinning robot.  The amount of robots Hazard has KO’d is staggering but it finally fell in Season 5 against T-minus, a flipping robot.  Check it out below.

Spinners have that problem of stability.  If they’re flipped over even once, they’re done.  So if Tombstone faces a flipping robot that can get a quick flip in, it’s a KO.  Bronco is the first that comes to mind and in all honesty, if they put in a flipper extension, they can beat Tombstone (plus, the builders were the same guys that built T-Minus).  Warrior Clan is also a good candidate, perhaps the multibot can use its minibots as a distraction before coming in and flipping Tombstone.

Tombstone also doesn’t look like a very fast robot and when you factor in its one-sided spinning blade, you got a robot with some big weak spots.  A durable and agile robot would be able to bring Tombstone down.  In this case, I’m looking at Stinger and Overdrive who both have shown to be durable and surprisingly quick.  I honestly think they have a shot in beating Tombstone.

The other two potential winners I would bet on would be Icewave and Bronco.  Icewave’s blade doesn’t do a lot of damage but it can spin up fast and keep spinning despite delivering heavy blow after blow (something that a lot of robots have trouble with *coughGhostRaptorcough*).  Bronco’s crazy flipping arm could also incapacitate robots, especially if he flips them onto those crazy screws.

That’s all for now, looking forward to, hopefully, full battles in the next episode!

 

Screaming Nostalgia: Waiting for the Cicadas to Return

Nothing screams nostalgia like cicadas for me.

Yes, that’s right, the 17 year cicadas (Brood IV) have returned to my hometown in Kansas.  Although their love screeching has died down only last week, I already miss them dearly.  I was eight years old when they last showed up and I was terrified of them.  I remember their cries and I remember their shells, but most importantly, I remember being pelted by them the moment I stepped outside.  I was terrified of them as you couldn’t go a meter before a cicada would fly haphazardly into your face like a drunken moth.  I refused to go outside after the first few attempts.

It’s funny that pure, childhood terror has transformed into complete fascination with life’s derpy animals.  I love the hell out of these guys whether they are the seventeen year or the annual brood (the “dog days” cicadas) that we get.  Summer doesn’t seem right without these animals filling the humid evenings with their songs.

My love for them have even transcended over to video games to which I’m of course referring to the Pokémon; Nincada and its evolutions Ninjask and Shedinja.  When I first played Pokémon Sapphire I would train a Nincada briefly (unique typing at the time) and would eventually move onto other Pokémon for my team.  In the Generation 6 games, I trained him again only this time training both Ninjask and Shedinja.

The fact that Ninjasks’ ability is “Speed Boost” makes it so funny in my head just imagining this huge cicada flying around all over the place and bumping into things. MEEEEEP.  Image from bulbapedia.

The Nincada evolutionary line is the Pokémonified perfection it has achieved in bringing cicadas into the Pokémon world.  Nincada looks like the nymph stage, Ninjask looks like the flying adult while Shedinja is the discarded skin of the molted adult.  Nincada is the only Pokémon to evolve into two Pokémon at once, a trait that even Eevee can’t touch.  What’s more, Nincada’s Ground/Bug typing is perfectly suited for the nymphs burial ground while Ninjasks Flying/Bug typing suits its flying stage.  But it’s the discarded Shedinja that seals the deal having achieved a Ghost/Bug type.  It’s perfect!  The shell still has its original form but now takes life as a new being!  How bizarre.  I love these guys so very much!

Pokémon aside, I have had a fascination with these insects for years now and I waited very patiently for them to finally come back.  When they did, I was ready.  For those who don’t know, I’ve been working at a plant nursery job for several summers doing general landscaping.  I was keeping an eye out for any cicadas that had crawled out of the ground when we were working on lawns.  I managed to get a few photos of their infestation.

Bunch of holes in the ground that tell where the nymphs lived

Bunch of holes in the ground that tell where the nymphs lived

cicada nymph

Caught a nymph that hadn’t molted yet

Managed to get one while it was molting

Managed to get one while it was molting

cicada shells

many of the nymphs molted on the underside of leaves

Cicada shells at tree base

A LOT of them were at the base of trees, this dog just loves eating them!

cicadas

Seriously, cicadas are basically all-or-nothing. They were either not there or they were everrrywheeeereee.

giggity

giggity

Cicada food

Yummy

During the height of their infestation, Mary and I went to a public event hosted by the natural history museum on cicadas.  There, we got to learn more about the cicadas and WE GOT TO EAT THEM TOO!  Students either fried them up, caramelized them, buffalo sauced them, or chocolate dipped them!  Oh man, I don’t normally eat bugs so I had to build myself up for that one.  I started off easy with the chocolate dipped one but then went into the buffalo sauced ones.  Then for dinner, I had some fried ones in a taco.  The best way I can describe them is that they’re a cross between a shrimp’s shell and a popcorn kernel.  Don’t know how else to describe it, it wasn’t bad though.

Man, these insects are very pretty.  Mary and I saw a girl who had a huge cicada tattoo on her back and it looked beautiful.  Cicadas have a very nice looking wing structure and they have these cute little black pupils in their huge red eyes.  They also have a nice color palate too with gold, black, and red complimenting each other nicely.  Now even am tempted to get a tattoo of one!

During my free time, I actively hunted for spots that had the highest concentration of them.  I found a few good ones where you could easily see them zooming around the trees and screaming their little heads off.  I made it a habit to find their favorite trees and pick up a few just so they could crawl around on my arms and head (I even was pissed by them a few times, haha).

 

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Now their music has died down and the females will soon lay their eggs.  I will miss them dearly.  Though we will always have the annual cicadas, I will miss the 17 year ones.  They are the best definition of nostalgia for me.  Something that happened, albeit briefly, in my childhood that had a lasting impact for the rest of my life.  A fear that transformed into fascination.  I love these animals so very much.  I look forward to seeing their offspring another 17 years from now.  And with that said

MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

Initial Reaction to ABC Battlebots (2015) Episode 1

Holy Crap.

Battlebots has returned this year on ABC and it’s as ridiculous and amazing as it was more than ten years ago on Comedy Central.  To begin with, I want to say I felt like my ten year old self again while watching this first episode.  The hype, the out-of-place suave commentators, the flashy stage, and the killer robots threw me back to my parents’ couch years ago.  It was fun, stupid, and most importantly, robots fought each other for the glorious nut!

First, few things I was disappointed about before I gushed about everything else.

-No original theme?  That makes me sad.  The original Battlebots referee Mark Beiro was also not there but considering his long and great career, I’m totally fine with that.

-They didn’t say “The box is locked, the lights are on, it’s robot fighting time!”  Come on!  That was basically their slogan!

-As mentioned before the main three commentators seem out of place but given the nature of Battlebots history, that’s typical.  At least they’re not as annoying as the original ones!

Okay!  Onto the good stuff!

This season of Battlebots (season 6) has made some good choices in order to both highlight the builders and televise the battles.  Instead of a huge assortment of robots we get just 24 robots in one weight class.  This cuts down the shallow coverage of the robots and gives us a more in-depth look into each of them.  This is great!  We learn why we should care for each of the robots, it makes us root for them more, and it gives us the opportunity to connect to them and remember them better.

Some people complain about the coverage on the builders but that’s typical Battlebots!  They love to focus on the builders!  It humanizes them!  It gets the audience to know them better and why we should root for them!  It also shows how anyone can build robots and compete in the tournament!  It’s pretty funny too when you get this juxtaposition of these cool, suave announcers interviewing the dorky and sometimes rigid builders.

At first I thought when they were focusing on the builders they were only showing the winners of each battle.  Thankfully, I was wrong with that as evidence by the Warhead vs. Biteforce battle.  Good!  I don’t want things to become predictive!

Okay, now onto the battles!

First off, Razorback vs. Icewave.  Nice, good battle to start on!  Razorback is interesting; I never have seen a Battlebot design like that before.  What were they trying to accomplish there?  Anyway, Icewave was definitely the highlight for this battle.  I liked the builder, Marc DeVidts, he reminds me of me a little.  He saw Battlebots around my age and wanted to build his own Battlebot because of which.  That’s awesome.  Icewave actually reminded me of the former Middleweight Champion, Hazard thanks to its spinning blade.  Icewave was just tearing apart Razorback and it was greeeeeat.  I look forward to Icewave’s next battle!

Next, Wrecks vs. Plan X.  Anyone recall the Middleweight T-Wrecks here?  Hm, maybe me.  Regardless, Wrecks is nothing like T-Wrecks.  God, this robot is so funky!  I freaking love this guy!  Team Captain Micah “Chewy” Leibowitz explained that he came up with this robot after waking up from a dream and I can tell!  Then there’s Plan X which is also freaky thanks to its glowing brain.  Former Battlebot competitor Lisa Winter built this robot and I was pleased to see her return.  Female representation in a male dominated sport is always a plus especially when the builder is young and confident in herself.

This battle was probably the most entertaining out of the four thanks to these two weird, weird, robots.  It looked like Plan X was going to win it at first then Wrecks started shuffling back like a determined terrier ready to take down a german shepherd!  I was laughing my ass off during the entire fight.  Part of me was hoping Wrecks would win this one due to its comeback in the last ten seconds and the huge damage it was inflicting on Plan X.  Definitely a favorite.  I was disappointed by Plan X’s spinning weapon but hopefully it will do more damage in the next round.

Next we get the upset battle Warhead vs. Biteforce.  Ah, Warhead, one of the few veteran robots that unfortunately couldn’t seal a win against his opponent.  And to be fair, it was a bad matchup.  Biteforce had a strong drive and a highly defensive ram.  That drum spinner barely dent Biteforce and the arms and tail were useless.  Biteforce had this battle right from the get-go by pushing Warhead all over the place and into two different pulverizers (which made me laughed hard)!  Biteforce reminded me of Complete Control thanks to its unique design and ability to handle dangerous opponents.  Good work Biteforce!

Finally, we get the amazing battle between Nightmare and Warrior Clan.  Man, ABC missed their chance to talk about how Team Nightmare and Team Whyachi had fought each other before in Season 3 for Nightmare vs. Son of Whyachi where Son of Whyachi won hands down.  They should have mentioned that!  Anyway, great battle even though my favorite, Nightmare, got flipped over (again, another bad matchup for a veteran robot).  To be fair though, whether done intentionally or not, the new Nightmare design kind of helped Nightmare in its dire situation.  I’m sure Jim Smentowski was trying his damndest to flip his terrorizing robot over.  Regardless, DID YOU SEE WHAT NIGHTMARE DID TO THAT BITTY FLAME BOT!  That was hilarious.

We still have more qualifying rounds to go through so I’ll withhold my judgement of flame and multi-bots until then but so far they seem to be working out well.

As for wildcard…there are 24 robots and 12 battles which means 12 losers.  Only four of the twelve losers will be picked to fight in the second round (if I’m interpreting the rules correctly).  The show briefly mentioned that the judges will pick the four robots that did the best in their respective matches (which is a great idea).  If I were to pick a robot or two from this episode it would be Wrecks or Nightmare.  Both did a great job fighting their opponent and I can’t decide who deserves it more.  I guess I lean towards Wrecks cause I want to see more of him!  He’s so funky and hilarious (but also he lasted the full three minutes as well)!

My Pick to Win the Nut: I think Icewave might have the best chance.  Battlebots has had a history of vertical rotator robots (e.g., Hazard and Son of Whyachi) winning the Nut.  Icewave’s blade was just wailing on Razorback showing that he is both a good defensive and offensive robot.  However, Icewave was smoking by the end of his match which isn’t good and he’ll have to worry about flipping robots like Warrior Clan (who might even be too low for the swinging blade).

Overall, the episode was great and I look forward to seeing more episodes of Battlebots!  Woo!

Greatest Moments in Battlebots History: Son of Whyachi vs. Biohazard

We love a good underdog story and honestly, who doesn’t??  There was a plethora of 90’s sports and kid films that just milked this trope repeatedly.  I think by far though the best film that pulled off the underdog story is Rocky.  Can I get a hell yeah on that one folks?

Anyways, what’s better than an underdog in film is one in real life which brings us to today’s article, Battlebots.  Now, I already talked about Battlebots last year where I critically analyzed how well it held up (hint: not very) but with the recent revival of the series (yay!) I want to go back to the show and talk about one of the greatest moments in Battlebots History, Son of Whyachi vs. Biohazard.

Okay, let me set the scene, it’s season 3 of Battlebots and the show is reaching its peak in popularity.  By now, many of the series’ fan favorites have already made their appearance (such as Nightmare and Hazard) or will make their rookie appearance (Mechavore) this season (the season was already starting off great when Nightmare destroyed Slamjob in the first episode in a spectacular fashion(see above video!)).

As such, the stage was set for veterans and newcomers to fight each other to determine top bot.

image from Battlebots Wiki

One of these top bots was one of the most winningest battlebot of all time, Biohazard, a several time winner of the Heavyweight division in Battlebots.  Biohazard has taken down foes again and again no matter how formidable they were.  Biohazard was definitely one of the best defensive robots of all time.  It was incredibly low to the ground and it had steel flaps that protected itself from getting flipped (and it minimized damaged significantly from blades).  But the most important feature of Biohazard was its god damn lifting arm which he used incredibly well to flip over high-centered gravity opponents and push them against the hazards.  Biohazard’s ability to tank hits, be aggressive, and easily disable opponents won him many battles.

Image from Battlebots wiki

A rookie to season 3 is the now glorified, Son of Whyachi.  Whyachi unusual makeup helped him win many rounds.  He had a spinning helicopter-blade like weapon that was supported by strong cables at the end and topped off with hard spikes to jam into the opponents.  Whyachi was also a walking robot and as such, got a weight bonus that was allowed towards him meaning he could be much heavier (walking robots, in general, have not worked very well and have won few battles which was why they got a bonus).

Both of these robots faced each other in the finals and the best part is that they almost seemed like they were destined for each other for the fights they went through.  Biohazard took down Little Sister and the more famous Overkill and Tazbot while Son of Whyachi knocked down Nightmare (in a glorious fashion mind you, see above video), chipped away at Mechavore and tore apart Hexadecimator.  All of these robots the two fought, mind you, have won their share of battles and would win more in the following seasons.  But more importantly, these were robots that everyone knew and recognized.  Overkill, Nightmare, Hexadecimator, Tazbot, Mechavore, these were celebrities in the heavyweight division!  Taking these guys down earned you much street cred!

And oh man!  The HYPE surrounding these beasts were incredible.  I was rooting for Son of Whyachi so hard, I always liked Nightmare but not even he could take down Biohazard as evidence in their fight in the previous season.  You know what, I’m going to shut up and show you the fight.  It’s awesome.

This is like eeeevvverrryyything a Battlebot battle should be like.  A long battle where the bots continue to go at each other despite their limping, broken status.  These bots were not giving up and would keep going if their battery connections allow them to.  It’s too bad this is not the status quo because some final round battles are either dull or one sided but this is definitely not one of them.  It’s really similar to Apollo Creed and Rocky Balboa just pounding the shit out of each other in Rocky I and not letting up until the final round.

The result of the battle was monumental in the Battlebot community.  Biohazard’s almost untarnished record was smashed along with his sleek, unbent and unbroken body.  Son of Whyachi proved a wholly offensive robot could take down the defensive based Biohazard and that walkers were not all useless.  Unfortunately, newcomer Son of Whyachi, although he won the Nut, was never able to reclaim his glory because he was that good.  I’m serious, it used to be that you could have a 50% weight bonus if you were a walker.  Son of Whyachi dropped that down to 20% the following season.  As such, Whyachi had to adjust to his new environment in the Super Heavyweight environment where it miserably failed to go the distance having suffered a bad design plan in Season 4 (it was saaaaaaad) and only going to the sweet sixteen in Season 5

The build up, the battle, and the fallout afterwards made the Whyachi/Biohazard bout one of the greatest in Battlebots history.  There are few battles I can recall that were this epic and not one-sided.  I sincerely hope that with the upcoming new Battlebots show on ABC, we’ll see more battles like this with intensity and power.  Fingers crossed!

I Finally try out the Bill Nye Shake

First off: Do not try this at home.

With that out of the way, in fifth grade, my teacher rolled out the glorious television set and put on for us the Bill Nye the Science Guy episode of Digestion. You can actually watch the episode right now on Netflix if you so desire. Anyways, halfway through the episode, Bill does this

After Bill drank the contents of his glorious stomach shake, everyone in my class went “Ewwwwwwwwwww!” while I just sat there and wondered, what did the shake taste like?

This question had been sitting at the back of my mind for half of my life. I always wanted to try out the Bill Nye Shake but I never did because I just…well…never gotten around to it! Truth be told, I always thought it would be kind of good.

Now, for the purpose of this blog, I have made and tasted the Bill Nye Shake.

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Psyching myself up, I trekked down the local Burger-Fi shop and ordered myself a burger, some fries, and a chocolate shake. Strolling confidently back, we cleaned out our blender (which still had remnants of a blended strawberry daiquiri in it) and proceeded to put all the basic ingredients in. Realizing that if I hated the shake I would have wasted money, I only used half of my food so at least to make the Bill Nye Shake.

Anyways, after a satisfying blending, it was time for the taste test. Truth be told, it looked like a regular chocolate shake albeit a little chunky. A faint whiff of onions from Shake tickled my nose and then I downed it.

Bill Nye Shake

Describing the taste is quite hard though I have to say upfront that it was not good. Bill’s reaction the drink is very similar to my own. Bleh. It’s not surprising though that it just tasted bad considering it was a mix of fries, buns, meat, tomatoes, pickles, onions, a chocolate shake and fries. My stomach even felt queasy holding it in despite its food that my organ has seen plenty of times before.

Bill Nye Shake

I think the worst part though is the consistency, holy crap if the consistency was better than the drink would be tolerable. The best way I can describe it is if you took a milk shake and mixed it with a whole bunch of poorly grounded peanuts. It tasted so….chunky.

Anyways, lesson learned, never doing that again. Though I still want to bake my hotdog, fries, pickles, and barbeque sauce pizza again in the near future. That was delicious!

This Could Work-A Total War: Great War Game

Revolt, Rebellion, Revolution.  These three “R”’s are the magic words that help define both the Creative Assembly-produced Total War video game series and the awful Great War which is currently “celebrating” its centennial anniversary.  I am both surprised and not that these two topics haven’t come together to produce an in-depth, strategy-filled game that takes place during the Great War-era.  This game has the potential to be amazing but it could very easily be bogged down with bloated mechanics and stretches of time where you do nothing but click the next turn button.

I first thought about this marriage while I was playing both Empire: Total War and Napoleon: Total War.  Compared to other Total War games, both of these games take place relatively late in human history representing late 1700s and early 1800s respectively.  The use of guns and canons is a far step forward compared to the arrows and swords Total War embraces in its Rome, Medieval, and Shogun settings.  But, they are done surprisingly efficient especially when combined with cavalry and fortresses.

The Great War is also extremely perfect when playing as certain factions.  You can play as Britain, Germany, France, Austria-Hungary, Russia, and maybe even Ottoman Empire and Italy.  All seven of these nations fought in huge conflicts that ranged throughout a greater part of Europe.  And it’s not like the Great War: Total War would restrict you to certain allies or enemies.  You could start the game in say, 1900 (or even 1870 if you want to include the Franco-Prussian War) and have all the participants naturally decide their allies on their own accord.  It would be very similar to the board game Diplomacy now that I think about it.

The United States (and other foreign powers) could also play an important role in the game even if the map focuses only on Europe.  All these countries can play as a neutral to a less-than-neutral position at the beginning of the game.  Do you choose to sink a neutral power’s supply ships in hopes of hurting your opponent?  That may backfire and the neutral power could declare war on you (and your opponent could get maybe 10 more, free, soldier units or something).  Perhaps you could win over a neutral power through diplomacy, gifts, and trade agreements.  The choice is yours to make.

Given this is the late Industrial Era; you can have many improvements for your home country such as the usual factories and farms but even infrastructures such as railroads, electricity, and telecommunication.  Man, you could transport your armies so fast if you built railroads in your homeland.

The three “R”’s would also play a huge role in this game, perhaps more so than other Total War games.  Worker riots and soldier mutinies run rampant during the Great War, then you got the occasional independence rebellions like the one the Irish started in 1916 and of course, you got some major Russian revolutions to cap it off.  Soldier morale could also be affected by say recent gas attacks, current weather, or battles where many soldiers died and nothing was gain from it.  Whole units of soldiers can lay down their arms or even fight you in response to the awful conditions!  Also, can you imagine sending terrorists or instigators to your rivals in hopes of stirring a revolution?  That would be awesome!  On the one hand, you would have to keep your people happy but on the other, you can cause chaos from the inside out!  The Austria-Hungary Empire could disintegrate before your very eyes as armies representing different nationalities spring up and take back cities belonging to the people!

And maybe get a certain Archduke assassinated to start off a major conflict…? Image from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Archduke_Franz_Ferdinand_of_Austria

Although a Great War setting is not a far cry from Empire or Napoleon and can be done easily there are a few key differences that have to be addressed.

The first key difference, machine guns, and by extension trench warfare, were such an integral part of the Great War that it’s hard to find one without the other.   So many soldiers were killed on both sides by these weapons of war that it was probably one of the main reasons why stalemates happened all the damn time.  This is where a Great War: Total War game can be frustrating if not done right.  Your own soldiers can be killed en masse after several machine gun units mow them down.  Though historically accurate, it’s not very fun to play with (except when you’re the one shooting of course).

As such, you can do several things to nerf the power of machine guns.  For one thing, they are a better defensive than offensive weapon.  As such, soldiers carrying them would be quite slow and cumbersome.  The soldiers can also only fire them for so long before the gun either jams or overheats making them not very effective for long battles.  Technology upgrades can fix these overheating issues somewhat but you still wouldn’t be able to fire them for very long.

Gas grenades and shells would be easier to incorporate as they’re basically a stand in for the howitzers.  You could probably do some sort of penalty against soldiers with tear gas (like they’re slowed down, do not fire as well, or morale is lowered) but the awful chlorine gas is where things truly matter.  Not only would there be a lot of fatalities but it would be a good morale killer for even hardened veterans.  And of course, one of the first technology upgrades you can get for the soldiers is the ability to wear gas masks which would be represented as a button on the tool bar during the real-time battles.  The gas masks might lower accuracy and make your soldiers tire faster but at least they’re not being gassed at.

Tanks would be another technology upgrade you could easily incorporate into the game.  At the beginning of the game, you could have cavalry units for horses which although they might be useful very early on (especially if we’re starting the game 1870), they can soon be antiquated by the arrival of the machine gun.  Tanks wouldn’t make their appearance into very late in the technology tree but once they do, they can easily smash through defensive lines of barb wire and trenches.  Still though, they would be expensive to produce and they would be rather slow and have the chance to break down (again, trying to make sure they don’t become OP).

But the most difficult technology to incorporate would be airplanes.  Though it would be easy to use biplanes for reconnaissance or blimps to bomb distant cities, the real-time strategy would be much harder to handle if it’s used at all.  The real-time section of the games work on a (mostly) two dimensional terrain and adding aircraft to the mixture would make them impossible to control, much less use them for their full potential.  Perhaps you can send in a squadron to bomb a certain part of the map during the overworld phase.  Maybe a passive advantage is an added accuracy bonus for artillery allowing them to hit a group of soldiers on target.  Though both of these sound acceptable, they still don’t really use the planes to their fullest capabilities.  This will need to be played around with before aircraft are fully realized.

I really hope the Total War series makes a Great War game.  After thinking about it and writing all the potential it has, I really think it could work very well.  The lack of a prominent Great War game should be filled by a prominent series.  The Total War series is that game as its elements of nation building and alliance forging go perfect with the Great War along with its real time strategy on the battlefield.

Adventure Hat

If my Soul gets Removed from my Body, Please, Please, Please use my Adventure Hat to get it Back

In the summer of 2009, I was going on my first geology field trip soon and I knew I needed an Adventure Hat.

The problem was, for whatever reason, it was difficult for me to find a hat that fit my head perfectly.  I remember one time I was trying on a hat and it didn’t fit me quite right, looking at the tag, I read “One size fits most.”  But after much looking around, I found one and it has been by my head ever since.

I have been with this hat longer than I have known my girlfriend, many of my current comrades, and all of my nieces and nephews.  It has been with me so long that many of my peers and acquaintances recognize me from a distance solely based on me wearing this sucker.  It has traveled with me from cities to the middle of nowhere, through rainstorms and snow, through deserts and forests, and glared by the blazing sun and splashed by a beach’s salty waves. It has traveled to Istanbul, DC, Paris, San Diego, and even the little town of Drumheller, Alberta.

Pins adorn the hat to the point that some may call tacky or compare it to a car’s bumper overfilled with stickers but I don’t care.  They are pins that describe me, or are part of my identity, or I just find interesting.  The constant exposure to the elements has made their needles rusted over time but they hold firm to the Hat.

I can’t tell you how many times I have lost my Adventure Hat.  Sometimes, I may simply have misplaced it, but other times, it will be gone for weeks at a time.  One time, I was over at a friend’s house, I was sitting on her couch and I took off my Hat and set it on top of the couch.  The Hat slid off and fell behind, trapped in the shadows of the netherworld.  I then left her place and forgot about it (I do that a lot unfortunately).  It wasn’t until I came back almost a month later that I found it again.

All of its adventures have taken a notable toll on this hat.  Its edges are frayed, the color has faded, a sweat stain spreads slowly on the brim, and holes form previous pins are scattered throughout its exterior.  And yet, I still wear it because it does its job right.

Adventure Hat

But I have grown very attached to this piece of fabric despite its aged appearance.  As such, I have a request…

If my soul gets separated from my body for whatever reason and you need a material object to bring it back, PLEASE USE MY HAT!  I can’t emphasize that enough.  It will make your life sooooo much easier if you use my hat (provided I hadn’t lost it again).  Also, if I’m possessed by some raging demon from the fifth dimension and I’m shouting how bad you smell, use the Hat.  I swear, I bet this hat is filled with some sort of luck charm or whatever based on how many times I have lost and found it.

I wouldn’t be surprised if a part of my soul is even in the Hat itself.  If I had a horcrux, it would be the Hat.  No shocker there.  The best part is that if I died, all I need is somebody to take the hat and wear it temporarily.  My soul could then slowly take over there body!  Soon they’ll be wearing socks with sandals, sing Gilbert and Sullivan, and write pointless blog articles on the internet!  The problem with that is no one would wear such a tattered thing!  You might as well just bury it with my body for all the good it will do.

This Hat means a lot to me and I still find it useful to this day.  I’m looking forward to taking it with me to Fossil Butte National Monument where I’ll be a park intern this summer.  It’s going to be so awesome wearing my park uniform with my Hat!  My Hat has been with me for many years, and I hope it will keep on, keeping on for more years to come.

He Died as He Lived: David A. Johnston

To summarize the importance of Dr. David A. Johnston and his work on Mount St. Helens in an 1000-word blog article is a nigh impossible task given the impact he had on volcanology and the infamous volcano he studied. I always wanted to write about him ever since I wrote my first HDaHL article featuring Karl Patterson Shmidt but I struggled to do so considering this was a man whose legacy saved lives.

Let me back up, Johnston was a USGS volcanologist who had a personal history with volcanoes both active (Augustine Volcano in Alaska) and extinct (volcanoes in Michigan). His insightful knowledge in volcanology got him hired to study Mount St. Helens in March 1980.

Mount St. Helens is a composite volcano with a history of periodic eruptions. After its last few eruptions in the mid-1800s, Mount St. Helens became active again in March 27th, 1980 when steam erupted from it after a 4.2 magnitude earthquake struck it in March 20th. The volcano’s continuous activity prompted a response from the state government to close off many areas that were proximally located to the volcano.

Dr. Johnston continuously monitored the volcano for the next two months. Sometimes, he became so involved with his work that he would climb into the volcano’s active crater to perform experiments on it. Understandably, Johnston was terrified but he knew he had to risk the tests in order to learn more about volcanoes and how much of a threat Mount St. Helens was.

On May 17th, Johnston replaced his student, Harry Glicken, at the Coldwater II outpost, located five miles north of Mount St. Helens. He thought this outpost would be safe from an eruption but unfortunately, that was not true. On the morning of May 18th, Mount St. Helens erupted and its signature lateral blast destroyed everything north of the volcano, taking Dr. Johnston’s life in the process. Before his death, he was able to contact his USGS colleagues in Vancouver and was able to utter his famous last words

“Vancouver, Vancouver, this is it!”

before his radio was cut out. His words were that of excitement and not dread and were the response to two months of anticipation to the now awaken giant. Fifty-seven people, including Johnston’s life, ended that day. It is estimated that hundreds, perhaps thousands of deaths were prevented on May 18th, due to Johnston and other scientists’ insistence in keeping the area around the volcano closed from the public.

Johnston’s work on volcanism, especially on Mount St. Helens, should not go unnoticed and there are plenty of webpages around the internet that highlight his accomplishments. Instead of talking about his accomplishments, I want to focus instead on how people remember him and the differences between him and Karl Patterson Shmidt.

Johnston is thankfully recognized on his volcanic work ranging from scholarships, to documentaries, to having the Johnston Ridge Observatory at Mount St. Helens National Monument named after him. One documentary, the Fire Below Us, however, barely spoke about him having instead inserted a random interview he gave to the press along with his famous last words. “St. Helens,” a movie that premiered in 1981, had him as a primary character (although he is called David Jackson) though his portrayal in that film, from what I gathered, is very poor, painting him as a rebel and not as a cautious scientist.

Now, why is David Johnston more revered than Karl Patterson Shmidt? Both are scientists who died doing the things they love and both provided life-saving information to their respective fields. Well, the first thing that comes to my mind is that Johnston’s continual persistence in keeping the vicinity closed around Mount St. Helens is the stuff history loves to tell. We love those stories of the one man who was right, trying desperately to save the people around him even when others think him wrong (similar to Jaws now that I think about it…). Johnston’s actions against the grain is a triumphant victory.

Less romantically speaking, Johnston was going toe to toe with force of nature that he knew could kill him at any moment. I can imagine only a few people who would be willing to go out to an active volcano to actively perform observations and experiments on it. Johnston once quoted that Mount St. Helens was a “dynamite keg with the fuse lit.” With that kind of analogy, you have to hand it to the guy for continuing his studies even when death was literally right below him.

Even though Johnston thought his outpost was safe, he was still killed in the blast. This is almost similar to Schmidt’s reaction to the baby boomslang snake biting him at the tip of his thumb. Schmidt thought the snake was harmless and the bite won’t kill him. Yet Johnston’s outpost was based on careful predictions on the volcano’s eruption path. If Johnston was willing to not only have himself and his student stake out this area for observation, you can be sure he was confident in his predictions. Schmidt, on the other hand, did not fully grasp the dangers of the snakebite even when his health was failing him. As such, Johnston, unlike Schmidt, knew he was in danger and was willing to face it every day.

Finally, Johnston saved lives. Hundreds or thousands of lives were saved on May 18th thanks to his persistence along with other scientists. Though Schmidt gave us crucial information on the boomslang bite, determining how many lives he saved is quite hard to gauge. What’s more, boomslang bites symptoms would have been revealed to us sooner or later if Schmidt wasn’t as unlucky as he was that day. Johnston saved lives in one geologic instant. And that instant was all that mattered.

I highly encourage you to look more into Johnston’s life as he was a fascinating man with much to contribute in volcanology. Any webpage talking about him will do but you should also visit the Johnston Ridge Observatory. I’ve been to it before and man, it’s fantastic, definitely one of the best visitor centers I have been to (and the monument is quite beautiful as well).

Evolution Flight Expansion and an Extinction Expansion Idea

As a paleontologist, I love the crap out of the board game Evolution.  Designed by a Russian biologist, you win Evolution by having the most successful (i.e., most populated) made-up species.  You can have more than one species who can even cooperate with each other to help you win the game.

A simple concept but it’s the animal’s traits that really seal the deal for the game.  Giving your animal “Horns” or “Hard Shell” can help deter would-be predators.  Giving your animal “Long Neck” or “Scavenger” can help them survive tough rounds when food supply is low.  Giving your predator “Pack Hunting” or “Ambush” can give your animal an edge over the harder-to-kill prey.  You can add or change new traits as you progress through the game providing you the ability to adapt to your opponents’ strategies.

This is a fun game to play and I know I’m not the only one who enjoys it.  Many of my friends who have played this game once or twice are immediately hooked by its simple but endearing concept.

But unfortunately, there are a few problems with it that I feel need to be addressed.

Let me start with a problem that occurs depending on who you play with.  At the beginning of each round you add food tokens to the Watering Hole and these food tokens are what your species eat.  If there are not enough food tokens for all the species, your animal can starve and potentially go extinct.   This is determined by the cards you add to the watering hold which can range from negative to positive numbers.  The problem is that many of my friends throw in positive numbers in fear of the watering hole running out of food tokens.  As such, the starvation aspect of the game is downplayed so much that it can cause the game to be imbalanced towards already highly successful species.

But some people want to watch the world burn and purposely throw in negative numbers making for more enjoyable and competitive games.  So this is a minor issue.

An actual issue I have is the runaway success between two traits that can be exploited easily.  In the game, if one of your species has the “Warning Call” trait, it prevents another one of your species to be attacked by your predator.  If you pair this up with the “Symbiosis” trait (a species prevents a smaller species from being eaten), then you get an unwinnable combination that is hard to stop.  Sure, you can get the “Ambush” card to negate the “Warning Call” trait but you still have to be bigger than the “Symbiosis” species in order to deal any real damage to it (not to mention the “Ambush” card is an uncommon card).

There are other traits (e.g., “Hard Shell” and “Defensive Herding” in particular) that can be exploited to various degrees but none are as effective as this winning combo.  More often than not, herbivores dominate the board game landscape even when the predators get the amazing “Pack Hunting” trait at their call.  It’s rare to have a predator that is actual top dog.

From boardgamegeek.com

If you’re a reader of my site then you know that I’m a paleontologist.  As such, as I’m playing through this board game with all my friends, I keep thinking what I can do to improve it, to refine it, and to enhance the quality of the game while embracing the awesomeness of evolution.  There are so many animal characteristics out there that can be exploited that this game hasn’t even touched like camouflage or flight.

And guess what!?!?  The creators behind Evolution are doing an expansion for Evolution called the “Flight Expansion!”  Not only have they gone back and refined the original cards, they also added so many new traits as well including flight, camouflage, keen eyesight, and more!  And oh my god the changes!

Oh. My. Arceus. Yes.  All the problems I had in the first game are now being addressed.  This kind of response to balance issues in board games is simply great.  I can’t wait to get this game.  The expansion is on Kickstarter right now.  We still got two weeks until this Kickstarter is done but don’t worry as they are already well past funding!  I was very happy I found out about the Kickstarter thanks primarily by blogger http://ohjoystick.com/

Okay, so the Flight Expansion looks promising.

But I want to indulge a bit in what I think would be a great Evolution expansion.

As I already briefly talked about, there can be a runaway effect in Evolution where one person’s species becomes so large that no other animal can take it down.  They can then just up their population count and continue to eat a lot of food prompting them to win the game.  The updated “Pack Hunting” trait can solve that issue thankfully but even still, I would like to see some change on a major scale.

Evolution has been greatly affected by extinctions from a local to a global scale.  Species survive, outcompete, or die out due to changes in their environment.  The ruling class dies and the underdogs rise up to take their place as kings.  The characters may be different and the setting may be new but the plot is still the same.

And so I say, why not have an Extinction Expansion for the Evolution Board Game?

This expansion can upset the game’s foundation to the point that people who may be succeeding during the game now find themselves in a dire situation.  Those who were struggling now have the opportunity to overtake their now weakened (or even dead) competitors.  The possibility of different extinction events affecting species with various sizes, populations and traits is amazing and I feel giddy just thinking about it.

So, how would it work?  The way I imagine it is that at the end of every round, an extinction event card is drawn to determine if an extinction has occurred.  3/4th of the time, nothing happens.  However, for that 1/4th of the time that something occurs, the players have to do what the card says.  Here are the ideas I came up with (and feel free to contribute or change anything).

Ice Age: If a species has a body size>4 or if a species has the “Fat Tissue” Trait then its population size increases by one.  Climbers go extinct (no trees).  Watering Hole’s food supply is halved.

Tar Pits: Every time a species with the “Scavengers” Trait feeds in the following round, their population size goes down by one.

Meteor Impact: Body size>4 goes extinct.  Watering Hole’s food supply is halved.

Desert World: All species’ population size goes down by two except species with the “Burrowing” Trait as their population size increase by two instead.  Watering Hole’s food supply is halved.

Plague: All species’ population size goes down by one.

Invasive Species: Species with three traits are too specialized and are outcompeted (i.e., goes extinct) by an invasive species.

Humans: If a species has a body size>4 then their population size is reduced by two. If a species has horns then its population is reduced by one.

 

Those are all of the ideas I have come up with at this time.  I know there are some more extinction ideas out there but I haven’t quite figured out how I should use them in the game.

The best part about this expansion idea is that I can make this all by myself!  Since it’s entirely separate from the board game and does not rely on any pre-existing cards, I can just make my own extinction cards and apply it here!  I have yet to test it out but I’m looking forward to it.

Regardless, this is a fun game and if you haven’t played it, you should, it’s highly entertaining, and if you have a few dollars more to spare, you should contribute to the Kickstarter as well.  Who knows, there may even be a second expansion next year (fingers crossed for Swimming Expansion)!